it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
