I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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