meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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