Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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