i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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