Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
