It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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