Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it was like his penis was on wheels.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
