it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
