I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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