I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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