Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
