We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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