one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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