I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
