I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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