I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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