dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
