we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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