The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
