We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
