After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I could fuck to npr.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
