vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
