Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We had sex on a dog bed..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
