There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
