Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
