I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
