dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
