Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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