I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I wear drunk well.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
