The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
