so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
