Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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