Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
