THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
