my mouth tastes like poor choices
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
