i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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