He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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