I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I have post one night stand depression
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