if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So much Jack, so little girl.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
