Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
