The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
