he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
