Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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