Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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