I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
