how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
