I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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