apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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