RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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