ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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